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The Dating Manifesto: A Drama-Free Plan for Pursuing Marriage with Purpose, by Lisa Anderson
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Finally, a no-holds-barred word on dating, preparing for marriage and maximizing singleness from someone who’s actually living it.
Your attitudes about marriage and the path to marriage are wrong. Some you’ve inherited, some you’ve simply bought—hook, line, and sinker—and some you’ve made up yourself. They have translated into bad action (or no action) in dating and relationships. But it’s not too late; you can break the cycle of dating dysfunction and learn to honor marriage, marry well, and live intentionally while you wait. Lisa Anderson proves it’s possible.
The Dating Manifesto is neither a cheesy formula for finding a spouse nor a feel-good book about how the person for you is “out there” if you only “believe.”Instead, it’s a challenge to wise up, own your junk, and chart a bold new course for your relationship future.
- Sales Rank: #88294 in Books
- Brand: David C Cook
- Published on: 2015-08-01
- Released on: 2015-08-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x .75" w x 5.50" l, .60 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 240 pages
Review
“Lisa Anderson is one of those delightfully blunt people who makes you laugh and think. She’s funny and smart. But better than that: She has wisdom to offer. And—especially when it comes to relationship issues—that’s in short supply. It’s worth buying this book for chapter 11 alone. People need to hear this.”
Brant Hansen, radio host, author of Unoffendable, and storyteller for CURE International (Brant Hansen)
“A wise book from a woman who understands the pressures of Christian dating and singleness as well as anyone in the world. Lisa’s fun personality, concern for others, depth of thought, and no-nonsense approach to life and love are on full display. I loved The Dating Manifesto and am giving a copy to both my daughters.”
Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage and The Sacred Search (Gary Thomas)
“Reading The Dating Manifesto is like sitting down for a cup of coffee with an older, wiser, funnier friend! Lisa challenges singles to stop making excuses and start taking responsibility for their lives and relationships. If you’re single, this is a book that will both challenge you and encourage you.”
Debra Fileta, MA, LPC, author of True Love Dates, TrueLoveDates.com (Debra Fileta)
“Lisa is saying what few others—married or single—in the church are willing to say. I appreciate the wit, wisdom, and candor that she brings to Focus on the Family’s Boundless ministry on a daily basis. The Dating Manifesto is essential reading for single men and women, as well as for anyone who cares about them.”
Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family (Jim Daly)
About the Author
Lisa Anderson is director of young adults for Focus on the Family and host of the popular weekly radio program and podcast The Boundless Show. Her writing is featured in newspapers, magazines, and at Boundless.org. Lisa is a frequent guest on radio and TV programs, and she speaks around the world about relationships, faith, and the many challenges facing today’s young adults. She lives in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
Most helpful customer reviews
19 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
Powerful truths for even this older fellow...
By Billy Stewart
Thank you for this no-holds-barred manual that tells it like it needs to be told; what is provided herein is better than what a lot of churches are now teaching, I presume hoping for warm and fuzzy comfort over hard biblical truth (perhaps to keep the pews packed?) or, in direct opposition, cramming stifling legalistic dogma down the throats of folks to, quite literally, scare the hell out of youth and young adult singles. Both of these extremes, I would hope obviously, miss the mark and Lisa bluntly, comically, sometimes sadly (some stories relate-able, some painful, all understandable and always offered with courageous and humble transparency), shares a wealth of knowledge from her personal experiences, stories from friends or what seems to be the standard viewpoint of today's average young adult.
This book flat-out speaks the truth, shares the all-too-important stakes of dating for the wrong reasons (outside of God's will) , addresses the perils of dating without direction and, in accordance with God's Word, trumpets the call for all couples to date with purpose, including the very real yet never discussed importance of preparing oneself to be in a place where they are able to date before dating even begins.
Sadly (for my babies; yes, they're growing up too quick but they'll always be my babies), I am a divorced, forty-something, single father who married too young and without active faith in the Lord. Even so, I closed the back cover having realized I read and learned from this book from three separate points-of-view: first, in hindsight, with many regrets and many head nods and highlights in agreement with the excellent advice offered (I really could have benefited from this wisdom 20 years ago!); second, in looking forward, though I know I'm not the target audience, a twenty or thirty-something, the advice still rings true and I gleaned much wisdom toward what I pray will be a future dating life with purpose, this time trusting God and understanding completely why I'm dating because I do desire and pray for future marriage in God's timing and if He wills it; third, and most importantly, as a father of two preteen girls on the brink of noticing boys (in this particular case, as an aside to the author, Lisa, I cannot thank you enough for clarifying much for this father!).
The title is perfect! A manifesto is exactly what is needed as our youth and young adults need special attention in church and from church members and leaders, they need guidance, instruction, godly counsel and encouragement as they head out in to the "real world," which is quite cruel. The Afterword is wonderful and, in all I have read on this topic, quite unique. Titled, "A Note to the Church, Parents, Oldsters, and Married Peeps in General," it is a call to arms, a challenge to we, the "experienced" (flawed, most definitely, every one of us, but learned nonetheless) to step up and walk alongside our younger brothers and sisters in Christ, actively helping them to understand the complexities of "real" relationships, helping them with accountability, giving them the wisdom garnered from years of experience and from time spent in the Word and in personal spiritual growth, lessons good and bad that have been learned and can be shared in a desire to lead young men and women to a biblical, godly relationship and, ultimately, in to a God centered marriage that will glorify the Lord and bring joy and peace to the lives of the man and woman, because that is what God wants for us in marriage, who become one and begin their lifelong journey.
I cannot more highly recommend a book on this topic and, as I shared, I got it wrong, I have read many a book on this topic.
Get it, read it, make it happen! The cost is too great if we do not understand these important truths, namely that without the Lord in every part of our life, there is no anchor, no cornerstone, no intercessor to protect marriage.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
She tells it like it is – with humor and some tears
By Brownie
Over the years (my single years) I read many books on being single and on being a Christian single. Most of them left me depressed. They usually gave trite advice amongst the usual advice to “pray about it”. Well, I didn’t need a book saying to pray about it – that was obvious. I wanted to know what to do while I was praying. This book does that. Any of you that have reached your 30’s or 40’s (or more) being single will find a camaraderie with this author. She tells it like it is – with humor and some tears. It isn’t a frothy book telling you to pray and God will miraculously bring a soon-to-be husband to your door. The advice she gives is sound and practical. The book reads like she is sitting down and talking with you. It is equally sound advice for both men and women. I like that she says tells the women to be practical – hey! why are you waiting for the handsome, tall, moody (Mr Darcy anyone?) when Bob over there – is okay looking, steady as you come, and feet planted firm (my words, not the authors). Andy you guys – why are you looking for a “10” when you’re maybe a “6” – I think that is in the book :)
The final chapter takes on the rest of us – the marrieds, the oldsters – the general church community. What are YOU doing to be involved in a single’s life?
I read it. I bought a copy for my daughter to read. I wish it had been around when I was younger and unmarried. I could have used this advice.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
This is THE book for Christian Singles
By Lindsay
I highly recommend this book for Christian singles. In fact, I liked it so much that I couldn't put it down! For those of you familiar with Lisa's work hosting The Boundless Show podcast, you'll immediately connect with her writing style. It's casual, refreshing, and peppered with humorous stories and "Lisa-isms" that keep the reader engaged. You'll laugh in one chapter, cry in the next (the chapter entitled "It's Okay to Grieve" hit me in particular), bemoan the frustrations and challenges of extended singleness, and, lastly, gain encouragement from Lisa to press on, live life to the fullest, and stay the course in our faith. She is honest. She shoots in straight. She lives this crazy hard single Christian life too. In fact, that's one of the main reasons why I became interested in The Dating Manifesto in the first place. She "gets" it. If you are in your 20s-40s and you need some helpful, practical advice from a Christian who didn't get married at age 22, then this is the book for you! The Dating Manifesto is in my Top 5 for books on Christian singleness/dating/marriage preparation.
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